{"id":33957,"date":"2020-05-14T10:20:23","date_gmt":"2020-05-14T07:20:23","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/serialreaders.com\/blog\/?p=33957"},"modified":"2020-10-02T15:06:40","modified_gmt":"2020-10-02T12:06:40","slug":"frica-de-poveste-si-frica-din-poveste","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/serialreaders.com\/blog\/frica-de-poveste-si-frica-din-poveste\/","title":{"rendered":"Frica de poveste \u0219i frica din poveste"},"content":{"rendered":"\n

Guest post scris de Ina Bulzan (storyteller \/ povestitoare)<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Ne e fric\u0103.\nTuturor. Nu are rost s\u0103 st\u0103m de vorb\u0103, dac\u0103 nu avem bruma de cinste s\u0103\nrecunoa\u0219tem asta. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Frica se \u021bine de noi. \u0218i bine face. Dac\u0103 nu ne-ar fi fric\u0103 de pericol (fie el de orice fel ar fi) nu ne-am pune scutul, nu am lua-o la s\u0103n\u0103toasa ori nu am scoate sabia. Fie c\u0103 te ascunzi dup\u0103 scut, o iei la picior ori te av\u00e2n\u021bi \u00een b\u0103t\u0103lia cu dragonul, o faci m\u00e2nat de fric\u0103. Nu judec\u0103m aici care fel de a fi e cel curajos, c\u0103 \u0219i asta depinde tare mult de dragonul ori moara de v\u00e2nt cu care dai piept, de arma ce o ai sau nu, de… multe altele. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Numai c\u0103 frica\npoate s\u0103 fie tare viclean\u0103. Cu c\u00e2t \u00eencerc\u0103m noi s\u0103 o p\u0103c\u0103lim, pref\u0103c\u00e2ndu-ne c\u0103\nnu e acolo, ea g\u0103se\u0219te \u0219i mai multe vicle\u0219uguri s\u0103 ne pun\u0103 oglinda \u00een fa\u021b\u0103,\nridic\u00e2ndu-ne p\u0103rul pe cap. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Noi, adul\u021bii care\nvas\u0103zic\u0103, \u0219tim. Tot. Despre tot. Ne \u0219tim. De aici rezult\u0103 simplu, c\u0103 nu ne\ntemem. Explic\u0103m aia \u0219i cealalt\u0103, ba a\u0219a ba invers. Ne ostoim emo\u021biile, dac\u0103 nu\ncu tehnici de respira\u021bie, uleiuri ori medita\u021bii atunci clar cu pastile.\nNegociem cu noi \u0219i cu pericolul cine p\u00e2n\u0103 unde se \u00eentinde, filtr\u0103m \u0219i gestion\u0103m\ntr\u0103iri, c\u0103ut\u0103m solu\u021bii sau tehnici de coping. Toate astea ra\u021bional, logic,\ncognitiv. \u0102i mai slabi dau dovad\u0103 de palpita\u021bii, de temeri existen\u021biale, de\naplecare \u00een fa\u021ba destinului. \u0102\u0219tilal\u021bi mai puternici decidem singuri ce facem,\nunde mergem \u0219i c\u00e2nd ajungem, c\u00e2t efort \u0219i ce resurse folosim. Ce mai, le \u0219tim\n\u0219i le st\u0103p\u00e2nim pe toate. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u0218i iac\u0103 apare, de\nunde de niciunde, un nepricopsit de virus, m\u0103runt, m\u0103runt, da afurisit, \u0219i ne\nd\u0103 totul peste cap. Cu \u0103sta nu po\u021bi frate lupta nici cu tehnici cognitive, nici\ncu management de ori\u0219ice fel, ori vreun plan, vreo abordare. Nu-l vezi, da te\ndoboar\u0103. \u0218i tocmai de-asta, te ia a\u0219a cu fiori pe \u0219ira spin\u0103rii. Cum \u00eenfrun\u021bi\nceva ce nu vezi, nu-i g\u0103se\u0219ti punctul slab, nu \u0219tii adicate-lea ce-i mai bine a\nalege: fuga s\u0103n\u0103toas\u0103 ori lupta dreapt\u0103? Care dreapt\u0103 dac\u0103 el te atac\u0103\nmi\u0219ele\u0219te pe nev\u0103zute, pe neanun\u021bate, f\u0103r\u0103 fum ori urlete, ca s\u0103 ai \u0219i tu r\u0103gaz\nde preg\u0103tire? Cu toate astea noi ne \u021binem cump\u0103tul, facem ce \u0219i cum putem cu\nr\u00e2njetul pe fa\u021b\u0103 (sub masc\u0103) \u0219i cu s\u0103punul \u00een m\u00e2n\u0103. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Ei bine, alta e povestea cu cei mici. Ei se tem de mult mai multe lucruri ca noi, cei mari. Pentru simplul fapt c\u0103 \u00een\u021beleg mai pu\u021bine. Pe m\u0103sur\u0103 ce cresc \u0219i pricep cum e cu umbrele, cu tunetul, cu \u00eentunericul \u00eenfr\u00e2ng \u0219i ei to\u021bi dragonii cei mari \u0219i devin mai curajo\u0219i. Dar p\u00e2n\u0103 acolo e de mers. \u0218i aici intervenim noi. De\u0219tep\u021bii. \u0218i ne punem pe treab\u0103. Ca s\u0103 \u00eei ajut\u0103m, zicem noi. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Prima dat\u0103 zorim pruncii. C\u0103 nu avem timp. Asta e marea nevoie a copilului. Cineva s\u0103 \u00eel \u00eenso\u021beasc\u0103 pe drum, printre c\u0103pc\u0103uni \u0219i z\u00e2ne fermecate, printre toate cele ce \u021bin de copil\u0103rie. <\/strong>Vitez\u0103! Bag\u0103 pe foc! Galop! \u0219i cam at\u00e2t e tot ce aud cei mici de la noi. Pe repede-nainte. Cel mic e obligat s\u0103 creasc\u0103, s\u0103 \u00een\u021beleag\u0103, s\u0103 proceseze, s\u0103 \u00eenghit\u0103, s\u0103 produc\u0103 (re-produc\u0103) idei de\u0219tepte, c\u0103 doar e \u0219colit. Nu e timp de temeri \u0219i frici. Astea trebuie, tot repejor, s\u0103 le decodifice (nu sunt dec\u00e2t umbrele copacului prin draperie), s\u0103 le catalogheze (fiecare emo\u021bie are culoare, respectiv locuri din corp \u00een care o sim\u021bi) \u0219i s\u0103 le exprime adecvat. Mai bine zis deloc. Mai ales unele cum ar fi frica ori furia. Cum nu le \u0219tim nici noi exprima, ci ni se pun pe a fica\u021bi ori pl\u0103m\u00e2ni, deh, alt\u0103 poveste.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

M\u0103 str\u0103duiesc \u0219i eu s\u0103 pun lemne e foc, nu de alta, dar timpul. . .<\/p>\n\n\n\n

A\u0219adar scoatem atunci tot ce poate induce copilului frici. Scoatem. . . pove\u0219tile. Gata cu lupul cel r\u0103u, cu ur\u0219i, c\u0103pc\u0103uni ori alte fiin\u021be imaginare \u0219i imaginate. Gata cu imagina\u021bia! Lumea real\u0103 e a\u0219a cum e, aici tr\u0103ie\u0219te \u021b\u00e2ncul, pe asta s\u0103 o \u0219tie, dar\u0103! \u0218i \u00eei punem \u00een fa\u021ba \u0219tirile de la ora cinci ori jocurile cu arme reale. Da’ , asta e alt\u0103 poveste. Or fi printre noi \u0219i din aceia care nu punem ecranul \u00een locul lor, dar care tot ne temem de pove\u0219ti. Pentru c\u0103 pove\u0219tile vorbesc despre frici. Despre ale noastre, ale celor mari, deghizate \u00eens\u0103 sub imagini pe care le pricep \u0103i mici. Frica de moarte, frica de a pierde pe cineva drag, frica de a rata oportunit\u0103\u021bi \u0219i a pierde sensul tr\u0103irii tale, frica de a nu fi iubit… frica… frica… Noi nu vorbim despre ele. Ori dac\u0103 o facem, musai c\u0103 suntem r\u0103u dispera\u021bi, la doctor ori la cabinetul psihologului (rareori, c\u0103 doar nu suntem nevolnici). Cei mici nu le numesc a\u0219a. Dar le simt exact cum le sim\u021bim noi. Pentru ei c\u0103pc\u0103unul ce \u00eenghite tot e frica de moarte. \u0218i frica de a pierde pe mama, tata ori c\u0103\u021belul iubit. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

C\u00e2nd le lu\u0103m\npove\u0219tile, le lu\u0103m nu fricile (mereu vor fi fricile cu noi, cu ei) le lu\u0103m\nexprimarea acestora \u00eentr-o form\u0103 ce poate fi numit\u0103 \u0219i acceptat\u0103, dominat\u0103 mai\napoi. De e lup, poate fi v\u00e2nat. E vr\u0103jitoare rea atunci o putem topi cu ap\u0103.\nChiar mai grav este c\u0103 le lu\u0103m eroii. V\u00e2n\u0103torul care omoar\u0103 lupul (s\u0103 nu v\u0103d\nnas str\u00e2mbat la acest cuv\u00e2nt, c\u0103 asta e realitatea \u0219i acest cuv\u00e2nt nu va traumatiza\ncopilul t\u0103u mai mult ca divor\u021bul ori desenele aiurea cu arme \u0219i alte cele),\ncavalerul ce \u00eenfr\u00e2nge dragonul, mica z\u00e2n\u0103 ce poate da puteri magice unui copil\nschimb\u00e2nd astfel soarta lumii, to\u021bi nu sunt altceva dec\u00e2t ceea ce tu cau\u021bi \u00een\npastile, g\u00e2ndire pozitiv\u0103, medita\u021bie sau vaccin. Curaj, adic\u0103. Puterea de a\nvedea frica, de a o privi \u00een ochi \u0219i de a o \u00eenfrunta. Iar sincer, eu a\u0219 prefera\ns\u0103 v\u0103d ochii dragonului, bulbuca\u021bi, desena\u021bi artistic \u00een paginile pove\u0219tii,\ndec\u00e2t s\u0103 nu v\u0103d nimicul ce omoar\u0103 oameni. (virusul).<\/p>\n\n\n\n

S\u0103 revenim. Pove\u0219tile vorbesc despre fricile reale ale omului, de la mic la mare, folosind metafora. Pun\u00e2nd astfel o distan\u021b\u0103 \u00eentre om \u0219i teama lui, suficient\u0103 pentru a-i da r\u0103gazul s\u0103 se adune, s\u0103 \u00ee\u0219i g\u0103seasc\u0103 puterea de a \u00eenfrunta acea fric\u0103. Pove\u0219tile dau mereu c\u00e2\u0219tig binelui, valorilor ca adev\u0103r, iubire, prietenie, curaj, onestitate. \u0218i mai mult creeaz\u0103 eroi. \u0218i Doamne, mare nevoie avem \u0219i pe aci pe afar\u0103, acum, de cineva s\u0103 ne salveze! Deci nu te teme s\u0103 poveste\u0219ti copilului sau s\u0103 \u00eei dai pove\u0219ti \u00een care r\u0103ul este \u00eenfr\u00e2nt \u0219i binele triumf\u0103. <\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Dar, cum pomeneam anterior. Copilul e pe un drum. Pove\u0219tile \u0219tiu asta. Nu pui ditamai dragonul \u00een fa\u021ba copilului, doar dac\u0103 \u00eei dai \u0219i cavalerul ori sabia cu care s\u0103 \u00eel \u00eenfrunte. Ce vreau s\u0103 zic? Pove\u0219tile le potrive\u0219ti anilor, puterii min\u021bii celui mic. <\/strong>C\u00e2nd dai unui copil ce \u00eenc\u0103 se lupt\u0103 cu vr\u0103jitoare \u0219i c\u0103pc\u0103uni, adic\u0103 de v\u00e2rst\u0103 mic\u0103, sub 10 ani, pove\u0219ti reale despre oameni adev\u0103ra\u021bi care \u00eempu\u0219c\u0103 fete ce \u00ee\u0219i doresc s\u0103 \u00eenve\u021be, faci, ce p\u0103\u021bir\u0103m noi anul acesta. Ne-am trezit lovi\u021bi de peste tot, de un du\u0219man mult mai tare, de\u0219i mic, ca noi, un du\u0219man real. Ni s-a luat pre\u0219ul de sub picioare. Suntem n\u0103uci, pierdu\u021bi, \u00eensp\u0103im\u00e2nta\u021bi. Nu i-ai f\u0103cut un bine ar\u0103t\u00e2ndu-i c\u0103 lumea adev\u0103rat\u0103 e crud\u0103, nedreapt\u0103, periculoas\u0103. Copilul acela \u00eenc\u0103 trebuia s\u0103 \u00eenve\u021be c\u0103 de\u0219i exist\u0103 lupi, vr\u0103jitoare \u0219i zmei, exist\u0103 \u0219i cavaleri, ap\u0103 ori v\u00e2n\u0103tori ce pot salva situa\u021bia. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

A\u0219a cum pove\u0219tile\n\u00eembrac\u0103 frica sub ve\u0219tm\u00e2ntul unui personaj imaginar, uneori frica copilului\n(deseori sim\u021bit\u0103 de la noi, dar nerecunoscut\u0103 verbal, ca s\u0103 protej\u0103m copilul,\ncic\u0103) ia o form\u0103 diferit\u0103 de ceea ce o cauzeaz\u0103 cu adev\u0103rat. Copilul se teme de\nfrica noastr\u0103, de tensiunea ce o simte peste tot, de moarte (de\u0219i nu pomenim\nacest cuv\u00e2nt, doamne fere\u0219te!), dar tocmai pentru c\u0103 nu poate rosti cuv\u00e2ntul\n(c\u0103 e tabu) ori nu \u0219tie exact de ce se teme, suprapune frica peste altceva\nperceput periculos: ho\u021bii, \u00eentunericul din camera al\u0103turat\u0103, ambulan\u021b\u0103, lupii,\no carte anume. \u0218i atunci apar comportamentele: pl\u00e2nge, nu merge singur la baie,\nnu iese afar\u0103 din cas\u0103, vrea s\u0103 doarm\u0103 cu mami de\u0219i a dep\u0103\u0219it de mult timp acea\nv\u00e2rst\u0103, face iar pipi \u00een pat etc etc. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

E o prob\u0103 de curaj pentru tine ca adult atunci s\u0103 stai l\u00e2ng\u0103 el, s\u0103 vorbe\u0219ti despre fric\u0103 \u0219i moarte \u0219i despre tine.<\/strong> S\u0103 \u00eel \u00eenso\u021be\u0219ti \u00een lumea metaforelor \u0219i totodat\u0103 s\u0103 \u00eei explici realitatea. S\u0103 \u00eei oferi timp, acompaniere \u0219i acceptare. Copilul \u00een care p\u0103rintele are \u00eencredere, dar care totodat\u0103 prime\u0219te sus\u021binerea acestuia prin prezen\u021ba fizic\u0103 \u0219i emo\u021bional\u0103 l\u00e2ng\u0103 el, va \u00eenfrunta frica. Va ie\u0219i victorios. Iar frica odat\u0103 \u00eenvins\u0103 nu mai are putere. Ba mi mult, dac\u0103 copilul \u00eenva\u021b\u0103 s\u0103 \u00eenfrunte al\u0103turi de p\u0103rinte c\u00e2teva frici, va \u0219tii cum s\u0103 le fac\u0103 fa\u021b\u0103 \u0219i celor noi. C\u0103 sigur vor veni altele. Nu uita, el e pe drum. Dar va \u0219ti c\u0103 exist\u0103 eroi, curaj, c\u0103 biele \u00eenvinge, \u0219i mai ales c\u0103 mami\/ tata e acolo l\u00e2ng\u0103 \u0219i pentru el. Iar povestea va avea finalul fericit dorit. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Frica din poveste e bun\u0103. Ne face mari \u0219i puternici. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Foto: Pexels.com<\/em><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Guest post scris de Ina Bulzan (storyteller \/ povestitoare) Ne e fric\u0103. Tuturor. Nu are rost s\u0103 st\u0103m de vorb\u0103, dac\u0103 nu avem bruma de cinste s\u0103 recunoa\u0219tem asta. Frica se \u021bine de noi. \u0218i bine face. Dac\u0103 nu ne-ar…<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":17,"featured_media":33964,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"_monsterinsights_skip_tracking":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_active":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_note":"","_monsterinsights_sitenote_category":0,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[4281],"tags":[3259,639,4277,2644,4276,5563,1289,76],"class_list":["post-33957","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-guest-post","tag-carti-pentru-copii","tag-club-de-carte","tag-editors-pick","tag-emotii","tag-featured","tag-frica","tag-poveste","tag-serial-readers"],"acf":[],"yoast_head":"\nFrica de poveste \u0219i frica din poveste<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"Ne e fric\u0103. 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