{"id":27529,"date":"2017-09-29T07:30:57","date_gmt":"2017-09-29T04:30:57","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/serialreaders.com\/blog\/?p=27529"},"modified":"2018-11-12T22:31:16","modified_gmt":"2018-11-12T19:31:16","slug":"melciclopedia-povestea-melcului-print","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/serialreaders.com\/blog\/melciclopedia-povestea-melcului-print\/","title":{"rendered":"Melciclopedia. Povestea Melcului Prin\u021b, de Iulian T\u0103nase (fragment \u00een avanpremier\u0103)"},"content":{"rendered":"

Plin\u0103 de jocuri de cuvinte \u0219i cu numeroase trimiteri culturale,\u00a0Melciclopedia<\/em>\u00a0este o aventur\u0103 a imagina\u021biei, a erudi\u021biei \u0219i a spiritului ludic.<\/p>\n

\"\"<\/a>\u00centr-o diminea\u021b\u0103\u00a0de toamn\u0103, Melcul Prin\u021b\u00a0\u0219i-a dat seama c\u0103 nu \u0219tie cine este. Convins c\u0103 fiecare dintre noi este mai mult dec\u00e2t un simplu nume, porne\u0219te \u00een aventura vie\u021bii sale, cea mai mare aventur\u0103 a oric\u0103rui erou: descoperirea de sine.<\/p>\n

C\u0103lare pe un melcteorit ajunge \u00een Melxopotamia, o \u021bar\u0103 a c\u0103rei form\u0103 de guvern\u0103m\u00e2nt este anarhia constitu\u021bional\u0103\u00a0\u0219i a c\u0103rei economie se bazeaz\u0103 pe industria melcalurgic\u0103, pe industria constructoare de melcomotive, dar \u0219i pe ploile de melcteori\u021bi. Aici se \u00eent\u00e2lne\u0219te cu Melc Capone, cel mai mare gangsteropod, cu Melcduza Zuza \u0219i Melca Sirena, dar \u0219i cu Melcfisto, \u0219i descoper\u0103 c\u0103 exist\u0103 nenum\u0103rate\u00a0\u0219i neb\u0103nuite feluri de melci (melci de ap\u0103 dulce \u0219i melci de ap\u0103 mineral\u0103, melci de limonad\u0103, melci marini \u0219i melci submarini, melcaini \u0219i melhiene, \u0219i chiar \u0219i niste melci maramure\u0219eni, originari din nordul Rom\u00e2niei, care au pe partea din fa\u021b\u0103\u00a0a cochiliei, ca semn distinctiv, sigla Ferrari).\u00a0Melcredo quia absurdum<\/em>, cum ar veni.<\/p>\n

Aventura sa este un parcurs ini\u021biatic, o odisee a spiritului ludic \u0219i imaginativ, a acelei p\u0103r\u021bi din noi care trebuie s\u0103\u00a0\u00eenve\u021be din nou s\u0103 viseze, s\u0103 z\u00e2mbeasc\u0103, s\u0103 priveasc\u0103\u00a0\u0219i s\u0103\u00a0\u00een\u021beleag\u0103, s\u0103 tr\u0103iasc\u0103 pe \u00eendelete \u0219i f\u0103r\u0103\u00a0grab\u0103.<\/p>\n

Melc-avertisment<\/strong>: indiferent cum alege\u021bi s\u0103 v\u0103 tr\u0103i\u021bi aventura personal\u0103 \u2013 cu viteza melcului sau cu viteza ame\u021bitoare a secolului \u00een care tr\u0103im \u2013 trebuie s\u0103\u00a0\u021bine\u021bi minte un lucru: cele mai lungi \u0219i mai dificile c\u0103l\u0103torii le avem \u00een\u0103untrul, nu \u00een afara noastr\u0103.<\/em><\/p>\n

\n

Cartea este disponibil\u0103 la\u00a0PRECOMAND\u0102 pe situl editurii aici<\/a>\u00a0>>
\n(vei primi cartea cu autograful autorului)<\/strong><\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n

Melciclopedia. Povestea Melcului Prin\u021b, de Iulian T\u0103nase (fragment \u00een avanpremier\u0103)<\/h1>\n

Exist\u0103 \u00een Rom\u00e2nia un c\u00e2ntecel care pur \u0219i simplu \u00eei scoate din s\u0103rite pe melcii codobelci din Melxopotamia: \u201eMelc, melc, codobelc\/ Scoate coarne boure\u0219ti\/ \u0218i te du la Dun\u0103re\/ \u0218i bea ap\u0103 tulbure,\/ \u0218i te du la balt\u0103\/ \u0218i bea ap\u0103 cald\u0103,\/ \u0218i te suie pe copaci\/ \u0218i m\u0103n\u00e2nc\u0103 la g\u00e2ndaci,\/ \u0218i te suie pe bu\u0219tean\/ \u0218i m\u0103n\u00e2nc\u0103 leu\u0219tean,\/ \u0218i te suie pe uluci\/ \u0218i m\u0103n\u00e2nc\u0103 mere dulci,\/ \u0218i te suie pe butoi\/ \u0218i m\u0103 n\u00e2nc\u0103 usturoi\u201c.<\/p>\n

Ori de c\u00e2te ori aud vreun incon\u0219tient lipsit de gust estetic fredon\u00e2nd acest c\u00e2ntecel, codobelcii melxopotamieni se simt insulta\u021bi \u00een inteligen\u021ba lor mult peste medie. Sar imediat la b\u0103taie \u0219i, cu o direct\u0103 bine plasat\u0103, \u00eei \u00eenchid gura imprudentului fraier, pe care cine l-a pus s\u0103 c\u00e2nte a\u0219a ceva!? Codobelcii melxopotamieni sunt, \u00een esen\u021ba lor, ni\u0219te revolta\u021bi. Spre deosebire de ei, melcii codobelci din Rom\u00e2nia nu se revolt\u0103, lor li se pare normal s\u0103 fie trata\u021bi ca ni\u0219te melc\u00e2ini, mesajul acestui c\u00e2ntecel li se pare de-a dreptul inofensiv, pe c\u00e2nd codobelcii din Melxopotamia v\u0103d \u00een el nu doar o colec\u021bie de banalit\u0103\u021bi crase, stupide \u0219i, \u00een egal\u0103 m\u0103sur\u0103, jignitoare, ci \u0219i o tentativ\u0103 de dresaj. Noi suntem codobelci, spun ei, nu melc\u00e2ini. Noi suntem melxopotamieni, nou\u0103 nu ne spune nimeni s\u0103 scoatem coarne boure\u0219ti, noi nu scoatem niciun fel de coarne, nici boure\u0219ti, nici diavole\u0219ti, noi scoatem direct cu\u021bitul; nou\u0103 nu ne spune nimeni s\u0103 mergem \u00een cutare loc \u0219i s\u0103 bem ap\u0103 c\u00e2nd tulbure, c\u00e2nd cald\u0103, noi bem doar ap\u0103 limpede \u0219i rece; noi nu m\u00e2nc\u0103m g\u00e2ndaci, \u0219i chiar nu m\u00e2nc\u0103m rahat c\u00e2nd spunem c\u0103 nu m\u00e2nc\u0103m g\u00e2ndaci; codobelcii rom\u00e2ni n-au dec\u00e2t s\u0103 m\u0103n\u00e2nce ce vor ei, ei sunt obi\u0219nui\u021bi s\u0103 stea lini\u0219ti\u021bi, \u00een\u0219uruba\u021bi \u00eentr-o penibil\u0103 pasivitate, dar noi nu suntem ca ei, s-a \u00een\u021beles?!<\/p>\n

\"\"<\/a><\/p>\n

\u00cen Petala de Sud-Est, la grani\u021b\u0103 cu Bulgaria, se afl\u0103 o numeroas\u0103 comunitate de melci cu cochilii de sticl\u0103, transparente. \u00centreab\u0103 un leopard dac\u0103 \u00eel deranjeaz\u0103 c\u0103 blana lui e p\u0103tat\u0103, \u00eentreab\u0103 o giraf\u0103 dac\u0103 se simte prost c\u0103 are g\u00e2tul at\u00e2t de lung, \u00eentreab\u0103 o zebr\u0103 dac\u0103 se simte jenat\u0103 c\u0103 seam\u0103n\u0103 cu o trecere de pietoni. Niciunul nu \u00ee\u021bi va spune c\u0103 da. La fel \u0219i melcii cu cochilie transparent\u0103\u00a0\u2013 ei niciodat\u0103 nu au fost altfel, transparen\u021ba cochiliei e \u00eens\u0103\u0219i natura lor, \u0219i ei nu se arat\u0103 deloc deranja\u021bi de bulgarii care trec grani\u021ba doar pentru a se holba la ei ore \u00een \u0219ir. Bulgarii sunt bulgari, n-ai ce s\u0103 le faci. La fel cum, \u00een schimb, rom\u00e2nii sunt rom\u00e2ni, \u0219i nici lor nu prea mai ai ce s\u0103 le faci. Transparopodele, cum li se mai spune, sunt fericite atunci c\u00e2nd, la ad\u0103postul cochiliilor de sticl\u0103, pot contempla ploaia care \u00eei atinge f\u0103r\u0103 s\u0103 \u00eei ude, c\u00e2nd, la lumina lunii pline, \u0219irul lui Fibonacci, ad\u00e2nc \u00eenr\u0103d\u0103cinat \u00een cochiliile lor, se transform\u0103 \u00eentr-o spiral\u0103 de argint. R\u0103m\u0103\u0219i\u021bele de sticl\u0103 p\u0103m\u00e2nte\u0219ti ale transparopodelor au mare c\u0103utare \u00een Fran\u021ba, fiind folosite ca recipiente pentru parfumurile cele mai fine. Pu\u021bini rom\u00e2ni \u0219i bulgari \u00ee\u0219i permit un parfum fran\u021buzesc \u00eembuteliat \u00eentr-o cochilie de sticl\u0103 melxopotamian\u0103.<\/p>\n

\u2013\u00a0Sunt foarte frumoase, Zuza, pove\u0219tile astea cu melc\u00e2ini, melhiene, transparopode \u0219i a\u0219a mai departe\u2026 \u2013\u00a0Da, sunt\u2026 Iubesc \u021bara asta. \u0218i-acum, c\u0103 e\u0219ti \u0219i tu aici, o iubesc \u0219i mai tare.<\/p>\n

\u2013\u00a0De ce?<\/p>\n

\u2013\u00a0Nu \u0219tiu, pur \u0219i simplu m\u0103 bucur c\u0103 e\u0219ti aici.<\/p>\n

\u2013\u00a0\u0218i eu m\u0103 bucur\u2026<\/p>\n

\u2013\u00a0Da, te bucuri, dar nu e\u0219ti prea vesel, nu z\u00e2mbe\u0219ti suficient de mult\u2026 Asta \u00eenseamn\u0103 c\u0103 \u00eenc\u0103 nu ai redevenit copil\u2026<\/p>\n

\u2013\u00a0Crezi asta?<\/p>\n

\u2013\u00a0Sigur c\u0103 da, eu cred tot ce spun.<\/p>\n

\u2013\u00a0\u0218i crezi c\u0103 ar trebui s\u0103 z\u00e2mbesc mai mult?<\/p>\n

\u2013\u00a0Da, e obligatoriu.<\/p>\n

\u2013\u00a0Cum obligatoriu?<\/p>\n

\u2013\u00a0Noi suntem obliga\u021bi prin lege s\u0103 z\u00e2mbim.<\/p>\n

\u2013\u00a0Serios?<\/p>\n

\u2013\u00a0Sigur c\u0103 serios. Doar c\u0103 legea e foarte veche \u0219i s-a pierdut, dar z\u00e2mbetul a r\u0103mas. Una dintre vechile legi date de c\u0103tre primii anarhi ai Melxopotamiei prive\u0219te z\u00e2mbetul \u0219i z\u00e2mbitul. Legea, odinioar\u0103 scris\u0103, s-a transformat, \u00een timp, \u00eentr-o lege nescris\u0103, dar nu mai pu\u021bin respectat\u0103. Spre deosebire de vecinii lor rom\u00e2ni \u0219i bulgari, melxopotamienii \u00ee\u0219i z\u00e2mbesc unii altora pe strad\u0103 \u0219i vorbesc de fiecare dat\u0103 cu z\u00e2mbetul pe buze, pe toate cele trei buze ale lor.<\/p>\n

\"\"<\/a><\/p>\n

\u00cen ultima parte a vie\u021bii, dup\u0103 ce \u0219i-a recuperat sufletul, melcul Faust a c\u0103l\u0103torit \u00een Rom\u00e2nia \u0219i, la \u00eentoarcere, a \u00eencercat s\u0103 \u00een\u021beleag\u0103 de ce rom\u00e2nii nu vorbesc, a\u0219a cum fac melxopotamienii, cu z\u00e2mbetul pe buze, not\u00e2ndu-\u0219i \u00eentr-un caiet cu coperte ro\u0219ii c\u00e2teva observa\u021bii:<\/p>\n

(1) Rom\u00e2nii nu pot vorbi cu z\u00e2mbetul pe buze pentru c\u0103 ei nu au trei buze, ca noi.<\/p>\n

(2) Rom\u00e2nii nu pot vorbi cu z\u00e2mbetul pe buze pentru c\u0103, de\u0219i au totu\u0219i dou\u0103 buze, e posibil s\u0103 nu \u0219tie s\u0103 z\u00e2mbeasc\u0103. \u0218i e posibil s\u0103 nu \u0219tie s\u0103 z\u00e2mbeasc\u0103 pentru c\u0103 nimeni nu i-a \u00eenv\u0103\u021bat asta.<\/p>\n

(3) Rom\u00e2nii nu pot vorbi cu z\u00e2mbetul pe buze pentru c\u0103 z\u00e2mbetul lor se afl\u0103, poate, pe buza pr\u0103pastiei. Buza pr\u0103pastiei e a treia buz\u0103 a gurii lor, probabil.<\/p>\n

(4) D e\u0219i au dou\u0103 buze (cu care am observat c\u0103 \u00ee\u0219i pot face foarte bine treaba), \u0219i unii chiar se pricep s\u0103 z\u00e2mbeasc\u0103, rom\u00e2nii nu pot vorbi cu z\u00e2mbetul pe buze pentru c\u0103: (a) z\u00e2mbetul lor se afl\u0103 la mare distan\u021b\u0103 de buze; (b) z\u00e2mbetul lor are oroare s\u0103 intre \u00een contact cu buzele; (c) b uzele lor \u00eenc\u0103 nu au reu\u0219it s\u0103 fie domesticite de z\u00e2mbet, de\u0219i z\u00e2mbetul a \u00eencercat \u00een mai multe r\u00e2nduri s\u0103 se apropie de ele; (d) \u00ee ntre z\u00e2mbet \u0219i buze exist\u0103 o grav\u0103 nepotrivire de caracter; (e) z\u00e2mbetul lor este extrem de prudent, motiv pentru care se fere\u0219te s\u0103 se apropie de gur\u0103 \u0219i, implicit, \u0219i de buze; (f) toate variantele de mai sus.<\/p>\n

(5) Rom\u00e2nii nu vorbesc cu z\u00e2mbetul pe buze pentru c\u0103 s-au obi\u0219nuit a\u0219a. Sau, poate, pentru c\u0103 se tem c\u0103 propriul z\u00e2mbet fie le-ar putea \u00eenchide gura, fie le-ar putea m\u00e2nca gura, tot ce e posibil.<\/p>\n

\u2013\u00a0Cine e Faust? \u00eentreab\u0103 Melcul Prin\u021b.<\/p>\n

\u2013\u00a0Faust este foarte celebru \u00een Melxopotamia, \u00eei spune Zuza.<\/p>\n

\u2013\u00a0Mai tr\u0103ie\u0219te?<\/p>\n

\u2013\u00a0Unii spun c\u0103 da, al\u021bii c\u0103 nu.<\/p>\n

\u2013\u00a0\u0218i de ce e celebru?<\/p>\n

\u2013\u00a0Are o poveste de via\u021b\u0103 extraordinar\u0103.<\/p>\n

\u2013\u00a0Mi-o spui?<\/p>\n

\u2013\u00a0O s\u0103 \u021bi-o spun\u0103 Melcfisto.<\/p>\n

\u2013\u00a0Cine e Melcfisto? Numele \u00eemi pare cumva cunoscut, de parc\u0103 l-a\u0219 fi visat\u2026<\/p>\n

\u2013\u00a0A\u0219teapt\u0103 \u0219i-ai s\u0103 vezi.<\/p>\n

\n

Cartea este disponibil\u0103 la\u00a0PRECOMAND\u0102 pe situl editurii aici<\/a>\u00a0>><\/strong><\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n

SerialReaders.com\u00a0<\/span><\/strong>folose\u0219te unelte de marketing afiliat. Cump\u0103r\u00e2nd prin link-urile pe care le recomand\u0103m, site-ul nostru prime\u0219te un comision din partea retailerilor pe care \u00eei promov\u0103m.\u00a0<\/span><\/em><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Plin\u0103 de jocuri de cuvinte \u0219i cu numeroase trimiteri culturale,\u00a0Melciclopedia\u00a0este o aventur\u0103 a imagina\u021biei, a erudi\u021biei \u0219i a spiritului ludic. \u00centr-o diminea\u021b\u0103\u00a0de toamn\u0103, Melcul Prin\u021b\u00a0\u0219i-a dat seama c\u0103 nu \u0219tie cine este. Convins c\u0103 fiecare dintre noi este mai mult…<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":17,"featured_media":27548,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"_monsterinsights_skip_tracking":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_active":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_note":"","_monsterinsights_sitenote_category":0,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":true,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[5203],"tags":[2040,639,2014,4276,1248,4894,76],"class_list":["post-27529","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-avanpremiera","tag-avanpremiera","tag-club-de-carte","tag-editura-nemira","tag-featured","tag-iulian-tanase","tag-melciclopedia-povestea-melcului-print","tag-serial-readers"],"acf":[],"yoast_head":"\nMelciclopedia. 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