![](\"http:\/\/blog.serialreaders.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2017\/03\/received_10154472768027198-563x750.jpeg\")
<\/p>\nDe prin primele luni de sarcin\u0103 am \u00eenceput s\u0103 fiu interesat\u0103 de c\u0103r\u021bi de psihologia copilului \u0219i parenting. Iar sursele de informare nu mi-au lipsit niciodat\u0103, mai ales c\u0103 mereu am avut \u00een jurul meu prietene psiholog. Una dintre aceste prietene (sper s\u0103 m\u0103 considere \u0219i ea a\u0219a) este Adina Burghel.<\/p>\n
<\/p>\n
Adina a absolvit Universitatea din Timi\u0219oara, masterat \u00een Psihologia Clinic\u0103, iar de 10 ani este psiholog \u00een cadrul maternit\u0103\u021bii Bega. Are o vast\u0103 experien\u021b\u0103 \u00een consilierea cuplurilor \u00een aspecte legate de reproducerea uman\u0103 asistat\u0103 \u0219i a persoanelor refugiate. \u00cen activitatea ei de la cabinetul de psihologie a lucrat cu cazuri \u0219i patologii diverse, \u00een consilierea c\u0103rora a pus \u00een practic\u0103 no\u021biunile acumulate la cursurile de psihoterapie pozitiv\u0103 pe care le-a urmat. Pe parte de consiliere a grupurilor de p\u0103rin\u021bi sau copii experien\u021ba ei nu este cea mai vast\u0103, pentru c\u0103 parenting-ul modern a prins-o acas\u0103, \u00een concediu de \u00eengrijire a copiilor. Dar garantez c\u0103 \u00eel aplic\u0103 cu succes pe copiii ei – “\u00ee\u0219i face m\u00e2na” pe ei, cum s-ar zice.<\/p>\n
A\u0219a c\u0103, \u00een dubl\u0103 calitate \u2013 de mam\u0103 \u0219i psiholog \u2013 am invitat-o pe Adina s\u0103 ne povesteasc\u0103 pu\u021bin despre temerile viitorilor p\u0103rin\u021bi, c\u0103r\u021bile de parenting \u0219i leg\u0103tura dintre cele dou\u0103.<\/p>\n
Adina Burghel:<\/strong> \u00cen momentul \u00een care apare un copil, dinamica cuplului se schimb\u0103 pentru fiecare dintre cei doi parteneri ai cuplului, apar noi responsabilit\u0103\u021bi \u0219i noi roluri.<\/p>\n Femeia \u00eens\u0103rcinat\u0103 proiecteaz\u0103 pe parcursul sarcinii viitorul s\u0103u rol de mam\u0103. De cele mai multe ori, imaginea pe care ea \u0219i-a creat-o \u00een cele 9 luni de sarcin\u0103 nu corespunde cu realitatea. Temerile proaspetei mame sunt multiple \u0219i sunt legate \u00een primul r\u00e2nd de asigurarea s\u0103n\u0103t\u0103\u021bii nou n\u0103scutului: de la ac\u021biuni de verificare a respira\u021biei bebelusului, p\u00e2n\u0103 la \u00eentreb\u0103ri legate de hran\u0103, \u00eembr\u0103c\u0103mintea nou n\u0103scutului.<\/p>\n Viitorii ta\u021bi sunt con\u0219tien\u021bi c\u0103 puiul de om este o responsabilitate pe care trebuie s\u0103 \u0219i-o asume \u0219i c\u0103 micu\u021bul este \u00een bun\u0103 m\u0103sur\u0103 dependent \u0219i de el. Toate acestea \u00eel fac pe viitorul tat\u0103 s\u0103 se simt\u0103 important, m\u00e2ndru \u0219i responsabil, dar este \u0219i un motiv de angoas\u0103.<\/p>\n Mul\u021bi p\u0103rin\u021bi se tem de faptul c\u0103 nu vor reu\u0219i s\u0103-\u0219i creeze o conexiune cu copilul lor. Pentru unii dintre ace\u0219tia, maternitatea \u0219i paternitatea \u00eencep \u00een momentul \u00een care bebelu\u0219ul apare sau \u00een primele momente de tandre\u021be cu acesta, dar pentru al\u021bii aceast\u0103 conexiune nu este at\u00e2t de rapid\u0103. Ace\u0219tia din urm\u0103 ajung s\u0103 se team\u0103 de faptul c\u0103 nu-\u0219i vor iubi suficient copiii \u0219i c\u0103 nu vor fi p\u0103rin\u021bi buni.<\/p>\n Echilibrul \u00eentre via\u021ba profesional\u0103 \u0219i cea personal\u0103 este una dintre cele mai importante provoc\u0103ri cu care se vor confrunta proaspe\u021bii p\u0103rin\u021bi.<\/strong> Ei \u00ee\u0219i fac cele mai mari griji fa\u021b\u0103 de siguran\u021ba financiar\u0103 a familiei. Viitorii ta\u021bi se simt responsabili pentru faptul c\u0103 au dat na\u0219tere fiin\u021bei mici care cre\u0219te \u00een p\u00e2ntecele femeii, iar dorin\u021ba de a-i proteja \u0219i pe mam\u0103, \u0219i pe copil este, pentru ei, uneori cople\u0219itoare. De asemenea, pentru o femeie obi\u0219nuit\u0103 s\u0103 fie activ\u0103, implicat\u0103 \u00een diverse proiecte la locul de munc\u0103, maternitatea, \u0219i implicit r\u0103masul acas\u0103 cu copilul, poate fi o schimbare major\u0103, care poate aduce cu sine o mul\u021bime de angoase \u0219i anxiet\u0103\u021bi.<\/p>\n \u00cen prezent, p\u0103rin\u021bii sunt mult mai axa\u021bi pe a cre\u0219te un copil echilibrat afectiv. Copiii, \u00eenc\u0103 de la v\u00e2rste extrem de fragede, sunt l\u0103sa\u021bi s\u0103 aleag\u0103, s\u0103 decid\u0103, evident p\u0103rintele asigur\u00e2nd limitele integrit\u0103\u021bii lor corporale. P\u0103rin\u021bii prezint\u0103 copiilor diverse op\u021biuni, iar acestia sunt \u00eencuraja\u021bi s\u0103 aleag\u0103 ce anume le place. Nu se mai impun anumite reguli \u0219i rigori, a\u0219a cum se practica \u00een trecut.<\/p>\n A.B.:\u00a0<\/strong>P\u0103rin\u0163ii au datoria s\u0103-\u015fi \u00een\u0163eleag\u0103 c\u00e2t mai bine copiii, de a-i educa \u015fi de a se autoeduca. Tocmai pentru c\u0103 misiunea de p\u0103rinte este dificil\u0103, c\u0103r\u0163ile de specialitate, scrise de speciali\u015fti \u00een psihologia copilului \u015fi \u00een parenting, reprezint\u0103 un \u201einstrument\u201c care \u00eel poate face pe adult s\u0103 vad\u0103 unde gre\u015fe\u015fte \u00een rela\u0163ia cu propriul copil, chiar \u015fi atunci c\u00e2nd este convins c\u0103 procedeaz\u0103 corect.<\/p>\n Citind despre nevoile copilului mic, despre acceptarea emo\u021biilor copilului, despre trecerea peste situa\u021bii dificile prin scoaterea lor din zona emo\u021bional\u0103, ra\u021bionaliz\u00e2ndu-le, despre impunerea limitelor cu bl\u00e2nde\u021be, mama se preg\u0103te\u0219te \u0219i \u00eenva\u021b\u0103 cum s\u0103 fac\u0103 fa\u021b\u0103 nevoilor copilului ei.<\/p>\n A.B.:\u00a0<\/strong>C\u0103r\u0163ile de parenting abordeaz\u0103 o gam\u0103 larg\u0103 de teme dedicate cre\u015fterii \u015fi educ\u0103rii copiilor, pe buna rela\u0163ionare \u00eentre p\u0103rinte \u015fi copil. P\u0103rin\u021bii \u00eenva\u021b\u0103 cum s\u0103 \u201ecreasc\u0103\u201c armonios al\u0103turi de copiii lor, cum s\u0103 fie aten\u021bi, conecta\u021bi cu copiii lor. De fapt, acest ultim aspect mi se pare cel mai important: a fi conectat cu copilul t\u0103u, a-i \u00een\u021belege nevoile, a fi receptiv la nevoile sale, a-i \u00een\u021belege comportamentele, deciziile \u0219i a i le accepta. Acceptarea \u0219i recunoa\u0219terea copilului, \u00eenc\u0103 de foarte devreme, ca o entitate cu nevoi proprii, cu pl\u0103ceri \u0219i nepl\u0103ceri proprii, reprezint\u0103 marea schimbare \u00een comportamentul p\u0103rin\u021bilor din ziua de azi, vis-a-vis de comportamentul \u0219i credin\u021bele p\u0103rin\u021bilor genera\u021biilor trecute. A fi conectat cu copilul t\u0103u \u00eenseamn\u0103 inclusiv a-l \u00eencuraja s\u0103 \u00ee\u0219i exprime liber emo\u021biile. Credin\u021bele trecute, cum c\u0103 \u201ce mic, nu are el sup\u0103r\u0103ri sau nevoi prea mari\u201d, sunt comb\u0103tute azi de psihologia modern\u0103, care afirm\u0103 c\u0103, dimpotriv\u0103, copiii, \u00eenc\u0103 de la v\u00e2rste foarte mici, au tr\u0103irile lor, au emo\u021bii pe care de multe ori nu \u0219tiu \u0219i nu sunt capabili s\u0103 le gestioneze. Aici intervine rolul p\u0103rintelui: \u00eencuraj\u0103m copiii s\u0103 \u00ee\u0219i exprime tr\u0103irile. Mesajul pe care \u00eel transmitem este: \u201cE \u00een regul\u0103 s\u0103 pl\u00e2ngi, s\u0103 \u021bipi. Sunt l\u00e2ng\u0103 tine s\u0103 te sus\u021bin \u00een aceste momente. Po\u021bi s\u0103 alegi s\u0103 vii la mine \u00een bra\u021be, eu sunt aici l\u00e2ng\u0103 tine, sau po\u021bi s\u0103 iei o oarecare distan\u021b\u0103 \u0219i atunci c\u00e2nd consideri eu sunt aici pentru a te \u00eembr\u0103\u021bi\u0219a\u201d<\/strong><\/p>\n A.B.:\u00a0<\/strong>Urm\u0103toarele 3 c\u0103r\u021bi mi se par un must have<\/em> \u00een biblioteca oric\u0103rui p\u0103rinte, \u00eentruc\u00e2t ele abordeaz\u0103 teme diferite, dar care \u00eempreun\u0103 ne ajut\u0103 s\u0103 cre\u0219tem copii s\u0103n\u0103to\u0219i \u0219i echilibra\u021bi sentimental \u0219i emo\u021bional. Din p\u0103cate pentru ultima carte nu am o imagine potrivit\u0103, ea fiind una primit\u0103 \u00eemprumut spre lectur\u0103, \u00eens\u0103 cu o c\u0103utare pe Google dup\u0103 titlu ve\u021bi \u0219ti ce s\u0103 c\u0103uta\u021bi \u00een libr\u0103rii.<\/p>\n Arta de a f\u0103uri oameni – Virginia Satir<\/strong><\/p>\n Cartea e o \u00eentoarcere la copilul din noi, care e sufocat de bagaje emo\u0163ionale greoaie \u0219i pr\u0103fuite, pe care \u00eencearc\u0103 s\u0103 le mic\u0219oreze \u0219i, \u00een final, lase \u00een spate, pentru a putea f\u0103uri oameni mari frumo\u015fi. Mai mult, poate fi v\u0103zut\u0103 ca o pledoarie pentru mai mult\u0103 autencitate, sensibilitate \u015fi profunzime \u00een rela\u0163iile de orice tip. Cartea cuprinde, de asemenea, exemplific\u0103ri prin cazuri concrete pentru fiecare tem\u0103 descris\u0103, exemplific\u0103ri desprinse din experien\u0163a autoarea ca psihoterapeut, subliniind detalii legate de r\u0103nile emo\u0163ionale, problemele refulate \u015fi resentimentele \u00een\u0103bu\u015fite prezente \u00een familie. Cu ajutorul cazurilor prezentate, cititorul \u00ee\u0219i poate identifica propriile tr\u0103iri, autoevalua \u015fi de ce nu, autotrata.<\/p>\n Cartea e disponibil\u0103 la , \u0219i la .<\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n Copil fericit – adult fericit – Edward M. Hallowell<\/strong><\/p>\n Fiecare p\u0103rinte \u00ee\u0219i dore\u0219te, pentru copilul lui, s\u0103 fie fericit. \u0218i totu\u0219i, acesta nu este primul cuv\u00e2nt care ne vine \u00een minte atunci c\u00e2nd ne g\u00e2ndim la viitorul copiilor no\u0219tri. Adesea punem pe primul loc siguran\u021ba material\u0103 sau o slujb\u0103 stabil\u0103 \u0219i bine pl\u0103tit\u0103. Oare cele dou\u0103 se exclud reciproc? Sau bun\u0103starea aduce cu sine fericirea? Cum se poate ca un copil zburdalnic, cu ochi str\u0103lucitori, s\u0103 se transforme \u00eentr-un adult mohor\u00e2t, \u00eentr-un contabil al propriei vie\u021bi? Cartea ne \u00eenva\u021b\u0103 c\u0103 fericirea poate fi construit\u0103, c\u0103 nu \u021bine de posesiunile materiale, nu este g\u0103sit\u0103 \u00eentr-un loc anume, nu ne este oferit\u0103 la na\u0219tere, ci e o abilitate pe care orice p\u0103rinte o poate dezvolta \u00een copilul s\u0103u.<\/p>\n F\u0103c\u00e2nd apel at\u00e2t la exemple din via\u021ba de zi cu zi a unor oameni diver\u0219i, c\u00e2t \u0219i la cele mai recente cercet\u0103ri \u00een domeniul parentingului, cartea ne prezint\u0103 cinci pa\u0219i pe care orice adult, p\u0103rinte sau nu, trebuie s\u0103 \u00eei fac\u0103 pentru a-\u0219i reg\u0103si r\u0103d\u0103cinile propriei fericiri, pentru a o putea proiecta asupra copiilor s\u0103i: conectare, joc, exerci\u021biu, m\u0103iestrie \u0219i recunoa\u0219tere.<\/p>\n Cartea e disponibil\u0103 la , \u0219i la .<\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n Cele 5 limbaje de iubire ale copiilor – Gary Chapman & Ross Campbell<\/strong><\/p>\n Este o carte despre comunicare, sau mai bine spus despre lipsa comunic\u0103rii dintre p\u0103rinte \u015fi copil. Fiecare copil, ca de altfel fiecare adult, \u00ee\u015fi exprim\u0103 \u015fi recepteaz\u0103 cel mai bine iubirea \u00eentr-un limbaj propriu. Copiii pot avea unul sau mai multe limbaje ale iubirii. Este foarte important ca p\u0103rin\u0163ii s\u0103 descopere \u015fi s\u0103 \u00eenve\u0163e principalul limbaj de iubire al copiilor lor, s\u0103 fie aten\u021bi la felul \u00een care copilul \u00ee\u0219i manifest\u0103 afec\u021biunea, sau la repro\u0219urile pe care copilul le aduce p\u0103rintelui s\u0103u, pentru c\u0103 de acolo reies nevoile lui principale. Autorii atrag aten\u0163ia c\u0103 prin intermediul unuia dintre cele cinci limbaje de iubire, cel specific copilului – timpul acordat, cuvintele de \u00eencurajare, darurile, serviciile sau m\u00e2ng\u00e2ierile fizice – \u00eei ve\u0163i putea transmite \u00een mod eficient \u015fi necondi\u0163ionat sentimente de respect, afec\u0163iune \u015fi implicare total\u0103.<\/p>\n \u00a0<\/em>\u201ePentru ca un copil s\u0103 se simt\u0103 iubit, trebuie s\u0103 \u00eenv\u0103\u021b\u0103m s\u0103 vorbim limbajul s\u0103u unic de iubire. Fiecare copil are un fel special de a percepe iubirea\u201d<\/em>, spun autorii c\u0103r\u021bii.<\/p>\nC\u00e2t de important este ca mama s\u0103 se preg\u0103teasc\u0103 din timpul sarcinii, citind c\u0103r\u021bi de parenting? Cum crezi c\u0103 o poate ajuta o astfel de carte?<\/h4>\n
Care este cel mai bun sfat pe care \u00eel poate g\u0103si un p\u0103rinte \u00een aceste c\u0103r\u021bi?<\/h4>\n
Dac\u0103 ar fi s\u0103 recomanzi 3 c\u0103r\u021bi pe care le consideri esen\u021biale pentru p\u0103rin\u021bi, care ar fi acestea? De ce?<\/h4>\n
![\"Arta](\"http:\/\/blog.serialreaders.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2017\/03\/20170306_152838-750x750.jpg\")
\u201eNimeni \u00een afar\u0103 de voi \u00een\u015fiv\u0103 nu v\u0103 poate da ceea ce v\u0103 trebuie. Nimeni nu \u00eel poate duce \u00een spate pe un altul f\u0103r\u0103 ca ambii s\u0103 devin\u0103 schilozi.\u201d<\/em>, spune autoarea c\u0103r\u021bii.<\/em><\/p>\n\n
![\"Copil](\"http:\/\/blog.serialreaders.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2017\/03\/20170306_152856-750x750.jpg\")
\u201eAi \u00eencredere. Po\u021bi reu\u0219i. De fapt, chiar o s\u0103 reu\u0219e\u0219ti. Copilul t\u0103u este norocos c\u0103 te are ca p\u0103rinte, iar tu e\u0219ti norocos s\u0103 fii p\u0103rintele lui\u201d<\/em>, spune autorul c\u0103r\u021bii.<\/p>\n\n
\n
![The Spiritual Gift of Parenting\n<\/a>Surs\u0103 foto articol: arhiva personal\u0103<\/em><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"De prin primele luni de sarcin\u0103 am \u00eenceput s\u0103 fiu interesat\u0103 de c\u0103r\u021bi de psihologia copilului \u0219i parenting. Iar sursele de informare nu mi-au lipsit niciodat\u0103, mai ales c\u0103 mereu am avut \u00een jurul meu prietene psiholog. Una dintre aceste…<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":23,"featured_media":25570,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"_monsterinsights_skip_tracking":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_active":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_note":"","_monsterinsights_sitenote_category":0,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[1719],"tags":[639,353,4276,3044,4703,4704,76],"class_list":["post-25536","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-interviuri","tag-club-de-carte","tag-editura-trei","tag-featured","tag-parenting","tag-psiholog","tag-psihoterapeut","tag-serial-readers"],"acf":[],"yoast_head":"\nDe vorb\u0103 cu Adina Burghel, psiholog \u0219i psihoterapeut, despre parentingul modern | Serial Readers<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"De prin primele luni de sarcin\u0103 am \u00eenceput s\u0103 fiu interesat\u0103 de c\u0103r\u021bi de psihologia copilului \u0219i parenting. Iar sursele de informare nu mi-au lipsit niciodat\u0103, mai ales c\u0103 mereu am avut \u00een jurul meu prietene psiholog. Una dintre aceste prietene (sper s\u0103 m\u0103 considere \u0219i ea a\u0219a) este Adina Burghel.\" \/>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/serialreaders.com\/blog\/de-vorba-cu-adina-burghel-psiholog-si-psihoterapeut-despre-parentingul-modern\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"De vorb\u0103 cu Adina Burghel, psiholog \u0219i psihoterapeut, despre parentingul modern | Serial Readers\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"De prin primele luni de sarcin\u0103 am \u00eenceput s\u0103 fiu interesat\u0103 de c\u0103r\u021bi de psihologia copilului \u0219i parenting. Iar sursele de informare nu mi-au lipsit niciodat\u0103, mai ales c\u0103 mereu am avut \u00een jurul meu prietene psiholog. 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